Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Why Be Mad at Jesse James...

I really want to be mad at you Jesse, but I liken you to the killer whale that killed its trainer… You are who you are. You do what you do. It’s your nature.

"There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way"

– Jesse James

Now, that is truly lame. It wasn’t poor judgment, you just went back to you roots son.
You’ve probably been banging overly inked chicks for the better of your life. C’mon, you worked security for a major rock band… say, “back stage pass”… We know what some girls will do to get one… Basically, you’re just a mechanic. What kind of pictures hung on your bathroom walls before Sandy came around?

Poor judgment was not your problem, being out of you element…  

Wearing suits, Black Tie events, being with a woman that out classed you 
as if you were (are) a jackass racing Sea Biscuit in the Kentucky Derby. 
But here’s the rub… It’s not all you bro. 
I believe that Sandy had to have a thing for bad boys… 
And who’s badder than Jesse James? A scruffy, tatted up, biker,
who just reeks of badness 
and Sandy, the sweet and lovable Queen of Romantic Comedy. 
Oh! How opposites attract!
So yeah, Jesse, I can say I get it. I can also say you‘re still an idiot. Dude, when you are lucky enough to get to the top, fortunate enough to (finally) pull a family together and successful enough to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard for…

 (Let me say this you so don’t misunderstand.)

You don’t throw it away by fucking a skanky ass bitch that has her entire forehead tattooed!!

Bro. I hope you did it in the dark, I mean how do you look at that say, “Oh baby, you’re so much hotter than my wife.” Hell, how do you look at that at all, when you’re married to Sandra Bullock?

Now, Jesse, remember I’m not mad at you. I’m just telling you the straight up truth.  Sandy, to you, I say, “Don’t hate the player. Hate the game”. He was with a tatted up porn star when you met him. He’ll be with a tatted up porn star when leave him. And you should leave him.

Love. This shit hurts. It’s the worst pain on earth. I’d rather have bamboo reeds shoved under my fingernails, at least that can heal. A broken heart and utter betrayal… there’s nothing worse. Nothing. Babygirl, you knew he was bad. Your mistake was thinking you could change him.


That’s what it says on the original Jesse James’s tombstone and that’s why I won’t even mention Skankity’s name. The stalker-ass-ho said she didn’t know you were married Jesse. Wow!! God, I hope it was dark when you were banging her.

Bottom line time Jesse James.  Ready?

You had it all and went from hero to zero. Yet it isn’t over Jesse James!  You do have one thing left… And if you fuck this up, then there will be absolutely no way back for you Jesse.

No matter what type of husband (or not) that you may be, you are and will always be, a father. This is what you have that will save your soul Jesse.

Children. Children you have to see grow into adults. Kids that no matter what will love you and need you to be strong for them, now and forever. Unfortunately, you don’t have time to regret. You can’t go away and let it pass. You have got to be Dad. Period. Those kids (while close to her heart) are not Sandy’s problem. They are yours. In being Dad, just know that everything you do, affects them. So now, this shit is no longer about you. You lost. Now, do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t take them down with you.

Your days as the bad boy are over. Your days as a good man, never got started… Your days as dad, well those never end.

Please Jesse, I ask you for all fathers, all over the world… Don’t fuck this up. Too many of us go through hell just trying to get to where you were.

One last thought. 

Next time you get an itch… use your hand.

Good luck.

The Bad Man

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