Thursday, December 22, 2011

Anal + Straight to Anal = Strainal

What a great word!

STRAINAL pronounced: " Stray-Nal "

Meaning: Straight to anal.

A. Sex: To have anal sexual penetration before any other sexual penetration occurs.

Example: We went to her place and as soon as I closed the door, she had bent over and lifted her dress!! She wanted Strainal, so I obliged!

B. Emotional: To go from a pleasant emotional state to an anxiety filled and aggravating state in an instant.

Example: While Xmas shopping, some asshole swept in front of me and stole my parking space... I went Strainal on them in a heartbeat. My day was wrecked.

This is one we have to face as well... We all go Strainal mentally at some point or another. Like when I wake up to people screaming shouting... I go Strainal before I even open my eyes...


C. Political: Sara Palin.

Example: Sara Palin.

Pick any politician really.


This word is awesome!! I'm sure if you thought about it, not even too hard, you would find other ways to use the word "Strainal" in your day to day life!

And let's face it, going Strainal is an actual form of birth control. I've never heard of pregnancy occurring that way. It doesn't surprise me at all that anal sex would be preferred by a woman who either doesn't want to get pregnant or want to preserve her virginity.

Do it!!

Enjoy!!
The Bad Man

Saturday, November 12, 2011

A Message For 2011 and Beyond



A Message to My Little Brothers, Nephews and Sons
 For 2011 and Beyond

Don’t be a crybaby.
 

Snap the hell out of it.  Stop wasting your time on what happened in the past, even if it was yesterday.  Start looking at where you want o be tomorrow. I promise you, crying and whining about shit only makes people who care about you turn off their ringers.  Having emotions is one thing, being a crybaby is another.
  

  

Drop all negative shit…. Right fucking now.
What the fuck are you pissed about now?  Never mind, I really don’t fucking care.  All I care about is that you take that negative shit the hell away from me and mine.  I can’t think of anything cool that starts with a negative.

Negative Attitude
Negative Swag
Negative Vibe
Negative Job
Negative Bank Account
Negative Friends
Negative Life

Now take the negative away.
Yes.  It is that easy.




Educate yourself.
That’s correct. Sure you may be intelligent already, but every year a man needs to grow.  Not just fat or old, I mean mentally smarter as well. May I suggest something rare that will help?

Read a goddamn book.


Your eyes are the windows to your souls … and your brains.



Re-define yourself.
Manners. Rules for yourself.  Rules for others.  Stand up straight, PULL YOUR FUCKING PANTS UP!! Look people in the eye when you shake their hand and when you toast.  And make a toast!





Follow my 3 main rules.
 http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2010/06/bad-man-101.html


Love the one who loves you.
 
If you are with someone who loves you for you, good, bad, clean or funky, then basically, you won.  Here’s how your dumbass will most likely blow it. Hopefully you will learn from your mistakes. Trust me, we all make mistakes… How do you think I know any of this shit?

If you are self-centered and think this person who loves you is going listen to you rattle on about you all the time. Just know the Self-Centered You has an expiration date.
Advice: Learn to ask others how they’re doing and actually listen to the answer. If you really care, follow up and make sure they’re good.




Unmotivated Guys. 
 Make me sick.
Dude, do something, be a part of something, stand for something.  If you aren’t in a coma, get off your ass and do something!!



Dare to find special moments. 

Yesterday 1/1/11 at 1:11pm I made a wish.  Why, because 1/1/11/1/11, will not happen again for another 100 years. That’s why.

Did my wish come true? Yes. Instantly.  Hand to the Is.
I was outside, in the garage at the time and I wished for a simple sign that what I believe is valid, show me something out of the ordinary that will make me feel the love for 2011.

Less than a minute later, a tiny mole 
(yeah Mole; the mammal family Talpidae in the order Soricomorpha.)
Came from around the corner and walked up to me. I tripped out.
I put it in a little box, showed the kids, let them play with it for a while, and set free.  This was the first time in my life I’d ever seen one alive.   

My kids were happy and excited, and I felt the love….



Maybe I shoulda wished for something more?

Maybe you shoulda wished at all?

Special things happen in special moments, 
find them, they do exsist.




You have a fucking plan?
You fancy, Huh?
Think you got it all together? Everything is running smooth and you’re the shit?! Nice.  Just know that everything runs in cycles. Your high will become your low.  Your low will become your high…. Have a fucking plan.

 
Have another fucking plan.
Don’t ever stop making plans to advance yourself, your family, your friends…. Nobody’s mad at the man with the plan.



Make moves everyday.
Little brothers, nephews and sons, that shit is self-explanatory.  If you are not in a coma or dead, your ass should be making moves every day. No matter how you do what you do, just fucking do it.







Welcome to 2011 fellas….Now make me proud.

Sincerely,
The Bad Man

Ps. Nobody likes a snitch…. Goes without saying.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011



Head
PART ONE
If you care about how you’re giving/getting head this is for you…
 I said giving, because I’m old school. 
 To me, men can give women head too…

After all isn’t that what you’re doing?  Using your head?

For the sake of being neutral…
I will use the word “shit” in place of cock or pussy…
I’m sure you’ll figure it out for yourself. 
And let’s face it, some shit, is just good shit.
So let’s begin.
First the situation has to right to start. 
You have to be comfortable. You have to want that shit.

Ready?

Get close to it... look at that shit…..
Take that shit in your hands run it between your fingers…
Get close to it and really look at that shit..

See the shaft...


See the tip...  The corona… The ridge…

Focus… 


Direct your affections when  you're giving head.

Follow the ridge in a slow, sensual, circular motion
Use your fingers, lips, tongue or titties, cheeks, ass, nose, hair Etc,…. 


Truth is, we won’t mind which you use.

Touch the ball sack… Go ahead… touch it…


Lots of things factor into the condition of the ball sack,
temperature, timing, comfort zone etc.,
But DON’T let any of that stop you!  

Part of the job is to make the sack relax….
Make that shit all warm and fuzzy…

Make a motherfucker squirm for a minute….
Now we’re doing something huh?

That shit feels nice…

The mood is right,

The sack is warm and fuzzy…. 

Good Girl.


Sadly, the shaft doesn’t have many nerves in it. 
That means we don’t get as much pleasure from that as you may think.

Stroking that shit all hard and fast, means a motherfucker will come…
But later, that same motherfucker is out looking for someone else.

Someone who knows how to work that shit…

Stroke it with a firm, slow, smooth glide to start…
hand, teeth tongue combo scores extra points….
(Ps., Everyone loves a winner.)

Nature will dictate the pace, but remain cool. 
Don’t rush… let the tension build…. 
Real talk, most dudes will only last a couple of minutes
when you jump on that shit all fast and hard…

You want a truly sexy experience?

Slow the fuck down.



Be firm but gentle.  

At this point, tickling and or squeezing is NOT good.
Treat the shit as if it is the most luscious shit on the planet and

You.  Just.  Need.  It.

Pay attention to it.  

Taste it.  Savor it. 

Let that shit run all down your chin….


There is nothing that you can do 
that shows love more than worshiping the cock.


And it’s not really even in the mouth yet…




End of PART ONE







PART TWO:


Gettin it in....


Soon.


Sincerely,
The Bad Man.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Keep it real.




Fake Personas

Ever since we were kids, we’ve been looking outside of ourselves... for what?

Heroes. Idols. Role Models.. 
Someone to be other than who we are.


Some of us try to "Keep it real" 
We see people come and people go.
We see people change right in front of our eyes.
We see people pretend to be something, someone they are truly, truly not.


Socially, we naturally tend gravitate to those who influence us somehow.

Sometimes it’s a good influence, sometimes it’s a bad influence… 

But the influence makes feel different about ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, The Bad Man will play the games..
But I know it's just games. The shit is NOT real...
And it is NOT-FULL-FUCKING-TIME!

Sometimes, influences take us away from who we are,
we adopt the idea of being like someone else
anyone else other that who we are.


Then we try to make this new persona our real life. 
Why? Well, because life is hard and sometimes we just want to be somebody different..

It's "The Facade"

The equivalent to living a lie, no one can see who you are.

 
many put on facades just to impress others.

But here's the catch...

People can see through us when we are not being true to ourselves... pretty easily.

Try this.... Accept who you are.
Know that you are good enough for anybody and anything

You don’t have to change shit about who you are for anyone... Ever.

People who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Be true to yourself. 

Take off the mask.

Why would anyone create a fake persona? 



Fear.
 

.... fear that we won't be valued for who we really are
.... fear that we'll be hurt if we put our real selves out there
.... fear of what people will think if we're not what they think we should be
.... fear of not fitting into societal norms
.... fear of not being good enough, worthy enough
.... fear that we need to MO'
mo' this,
mo' that,
mo' something
or  we'll be less... of everything.



Fake personas cause a lot of suffering for the person who's not being real. 


It takes massive amounts of energy to hold that fake shit together. 

And eventually... you're fucked. The true shit begins to show. 


Options?
  • Try to be spiritual, positive, or non-judgmental. Better to be flawed, human, and who you are, than to be some shit that just isn't real.
  • Be nice. Take the pressure off yourself and apply that energy towards helping others in need.
  • Stop playing roles that take over your real person. Just be you.
  • Projecting the image to friends and family of being the perfect couple, wife, husband, father, mother, daughter, son, etc.... is BULLSHIT!
  • Being what parents or spouses want, or anyone else wants you to be.... is BULLSHIT! Do you.
  • Acting like all the other kids... BULLSHIT!
  • Being over-sexy, or too caught up in being perfectly beautiful or handsome, thinking that's what's necessary to attract the opposite sex... Unless that's how you make your bread Boo-boo it's... BULLSHIT!




People trying to relate to the fake persona will get a sense that something ain't right.
That gut feeling of mistrust. 

 
The longer you fake it, the more you hurt the ones who believed in you.


And that is a bitch ass thing to do.


 Sincerely,
 The Bad Man


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Mommy’s New Gun - Happy Bitrhday Baby!

Mommy’s New Gun
Happy Birthday Baby!!  This guns for you!!

The Second Amendment

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State,
the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

In short this means,
“We The People”, have a right to keep and bear arms.””

This also means,
The next person to break into my house, in the middle of the night, has the right to get his ass shot…

In short, that means
There will be only one side of the story… Do you feel me?

PS., Anyone who wants to prevent you from your right to keep and bear arms, by definition, is an enemy of the Constitution.


Normally, I would never share this type of info.
I don’t want everyone running around getting guns.  Just me, my wife and maybe my two oldest kids.

 It is better to have it and not need it,
Than to need it and not have it.

But right now, my reasoning goes like this

If someone breaks into your house, are they coming to chat?
For a pillow fight maybe?

 
No.
These are bad people.

People who may be desperate, deranged or phycotic motherfuckers…  
These are people who have simply snapped.  
Rapist, molestors, murderers.



Or
My personal favorite;

The-stupid-fucker-who-thinks-it’s-better-to-take-yours-than-to-work-for-his-own.


Mommies, Aunties, Sisters, Daugthers and Sons…

Firearms are considered Evil.
They are not.

Firearms are dangerous.
They are fucking supposed to be.

Firearms can accidently kill the owner.
So can lawnmower, if you don’t what the hell you’re doing.



There are Rules.

There are always rules….
Please know these are my rules… not those of your local law inforcement agency. 


Ps., Thanks LAPD for letting me know this guy will be back on the streets in six months.




Got yourself a gun:
(In your home)

Rule #1
Know your gun.
Not knowing can get you killed.  It’s not rocket science, but it does take a little bit of practice and understanding.

Rule #2  
Practice shooting at the gun range.
Become a member.
This also give you an excuse to have a firearm in you car….



Rule #3 
Keep you gun in a locked box.

This is Bullshit.

Keep your shit loaded, partially engaged and somewhere easy to get to.
Some unpresumptuous place in plain sight that only you know about.

Rule #4  
Never talk about where the gun is
with your friends.
You’d be surprised how often someone you know is out to fuck you up.
One way or another.

Rule #5 
Never take it out,
Unless you’re gonna use it.
That means:

NEVER TAKE IT OUT UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT!


Rule #6 
If someone forcibly enters your home:
Kill them… And then say, “ Freeze.”

It’s you or them.
Your choice.

Rule #7 Make sure they are not moving.
Call 911 and wait.


Ladies, I recommend this:

GLOCK 27

Small, light, accurate and powerful: 
The GLOCK 27 is the backup weapon for all situations. Because of its comfortable dimensions 
and the known advantages of the GLOCK pistol family 
it is very popular by police on patrol duty, which is why 
many law enforcement agencies issue this subcompact pistol.  

Glock jargon aside, it’s the perfect size for your cute hands and manicured fingers…




Can we talk about “aim” for a bit?
I think is important to hit your target.  You must practice!!  Join a gun club and learn the aim!!

It’s THAT simple.


In the event you run into this guy…  Just know he more than likely can’t hit you aiming like that

The side grip is a technique for shooting a handgun in which the weapon is rotated about ninety degrees and held horizontally instead of vertically (as is normally done). Shooting a gun in this way has no practical benefit under most circumstances and makes proper aiming very difficult, but the style has become somewhat popular in rap culture and among street criminals (who do not often use the gun sight) due to its portrayal in U.S. film and television since the 1990s.




Here are some places to aim... 
 A person will die if shot in the head, heart, lungs, or intestines.

Normally, it takes:
Hours to die if shot in the intestines,
Minutes if shot in the lungs,
Seconds if shot in the heart,
Instantly, if shot in the head.

If the Man is a rapist, please shoot that fucker in the head, heart, intestines & cock.



Myth: Guns are not a good deterrent to crime



Fact: Guns prevent an estimated 2.5 million crimes a year, or 6,849 every day.65 Often the gun
is never fired and no blood (including the criminal’s) is shed.

Fact: It seems to be slowing down property crime (especially burglaries). The legal handgun
supply in America (mainly in civilian hands) to the property crime rate.

Fact: Every day, 550 rapes, 1,100 murders, and 5,200 other violent crimes are prevented just by showing a gun. In less than 0.9% of these instances is the gun ever actually fired.

Fact: 60% of convicted felons admitted that they avoided committing crimes when they knew the victim was armed. 40% of convicted felons admitted that they avoided committing crimes when they thought the victim might be armed. A survey of felons revealed the following: 75
• 74% of felons agreed that "one reason burglars avoid houses when people are at home is
that they fear being shot during the crime."


Fact: Felons report that they avoid entering houses where people are at home because they fear being shot. 57% of felons polled agreed, "criminals are more worried about meeting an armed victim
than they are about running into the police."

Fact: Washington D.C. has essentially banned gun ownership since 1976 and has a murder rate of 56.9 per 100,000. Across the river in Arlington, Virginia, gun ownership is less restricted. There, the murder rate is just 1.6 per 100,000, less than three percent of the Washington, D.C. rate.

Fact: 26% of all retail businesses report keeping a gun on the premises for crime control.
Fact: In 1982, Kennesaw, GA passed a law requiring heads of households to keep at least one firearm in the house. The residential burglary rate dropped 89% the following year.

Myth: Private ownership of guns is not effective in preventing crime.

Fact: Every year, people in the United States use a gun to defend themselves against criminals
an estimated 2,500,000 times – more than 6,500 people a day, or once every 13 seconds.

Of
these instances, 15.6% of the people using a firearm defensively stated that they "almost
certainly" saved their lives by doing so. Firearms are used 60 times more often to protect lives than to take lives.

In 83.5% (2,087,500) of these successful gun defenses, the attacker either threatened or
used force first, proving that guns are very well suited for self-defense.

Of the 2,500,000 times citizens use guns to defend themselves, 92% merely brandish their
gun or fire a warning shot to scare off their attackers.

Less than 8% of the time does a citizen wound his or her attacker, and in less than one in a
thousand instances is the attacker killed.

For every accidental death, suicide, or homicide with a firearm, 10 lives are saved through
defensive use.
When using guns in self-defense114:
• 83% of robbery victims were not injured.
• 88% of assault victims were not hurt.
• 76% of all self-defense use of guns never involve firing a single shot.

After the implementation of Canada's 1977 gun controls prohibiting handgun possession
for protection, the “breaking and entering” crime rate rose 25%, surpassing the American rate.


Myth: You are more likely to be injured or killed using a gun for self-defense



You are far more likely to survive a violent assault if you defend yourself with a gun.

In episodes where a robbery victim was injured, the injury/defense rates were:119

Resisting with a gun 6%
Did nothing at all 25%
Resisted with a knife 40%
Non-violent resistance 45%

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 27 percent of American women keep a gun in the house and 37.6 million females either own or have rapid access to guns.




The world is crazy getting crazier. Protect yourself and the ones you love.

That’s just real talk.



Good Luck,
The Bad Man