Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Consider yourself warned:

I'll be back JAN 2011!

Time to break the silence...

Cheers,
The Bad Man


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Love. A Bad Mans Point of View


It has been over 30 days since the last time I sat to reflect on the world around me.

Why so long? 

Well, I was becoming disenchanted.
I was losing faith in mankind and had separated myself from it
to the point of becoming a bit of a vile and very base.
http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2011/01/how-to-fuck-up-your-realtationship.html



In my 30 days of regression back to a past me,
I tried to simply stay quite.

I watched all those who might be watching me.

And yes, you can all be found.

I looked for similarities, likeness, things we may have “clicked” in common….

Now, here’s the crazy part.

The more I looked, the less angry I became.

I started to wonder what the fuck was making me act this way to begin with?

The answer is…



Love.

No, really.  Love was making me crazy.

Much the same way as the Alpha Lion protects its Pride.
The Bull watches over the heard.
It was simple, kinda animal based, love.

But wait, there’s more….

The more I peered into the world around me, the more I saw 
what was driving the people of Mother Earth 
and mankind as a whole.

Guess what I saw?



More… Love.

Love in the best and worst forms.
The joy. The pain.
The accepting and rejecting up and down,
Rocking your world, while fucking your life kind of loves.



I needed to understand this, so… I looked it up.

I want to share what I found.
I just don’t want to share it... the way I found it.

Straight. No chaser.
No sugar coating. 
No bullshit.

Like to hear it?

Here it goes.



The 9 types of love.


Affection.
It’s nice. You start to care, become close.
You do things for someone else and it makes you happy.
In your heart, you want to give and receive this.
In the beginning you will.
Affection makes you warm. All humans need it.

The kick in the ass is:
If you don’t give it, you will not get it.
And even when you do give it,
there is no guarantee that it will be returned.


Friendship.
Your there for them, they’re there for you…
You can talk about anything.
You’re honest with each other, supporting, loyal, respectful and tight.

The kick?
Motive. 

 The answer? 
Time.

Why does this person want to hang out with you?
Only time will tell.
Advice? If I may?
Don’t call someone a “friend” until you’ve known them for at least a year.
And in that year, give them a lot of rope…
See if they hang themselves.


Infatuation.
You just can’t get this person outta your head,
The good and the bad.
The physical attraction, the crush…
Holy fuck, I'm love drunk!

Reciprocation is the problem.
They say all good things come to an end… 
Who ever the hell they are...  they’re right.
This doesn’t mean that the love is done,
This means the infatuation is.
Infatuation, like lighting, rarely strike the same place twice.


Platonic Love.
Take all the above, now lose the sex.
Ahhhhhh. No. Thank you...

I don’t care what people think. This is what I know…
There is no platonic love that can’t find it's way to the nasty. 

Step 1:  Take any friendship 
Step 2:  Add alcohol

Next thing you know...

You’re waking in the morning trying to act, “Normal”.


Puppy Love.
Who said, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”
Puppy love happens at any age.
The most common sign is when you start to act immature.
Suddenly you're doing, thinking and feeling silly things.

It’s cute. What else can you say?
And everyone's, got an inner puppy. 


Romantic love.
The soft music and candles, the long walks while holding hands… kissing.
You don’t fuck.
You make love.
You’ve become one.

Careful, this shit leads to marriage.

And like infatuation, it often comes to an end.
This doesn’t mean that the love is done.

It means the romance is.

And that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever,
It means priorities have shifted.

You can HAVE it back… if you WANT it back..
The problem is it takes two.


Sexual Love.
Lust. Need. Intimacy.
Master and servant, tie me up, tie me down,
Let me whisper in your ear while I pull your hair,
Lock your body to mine… Shhh... quite....

What’s the real kick in the ass?
It ends.
Eventually you’ll want cherry pie instead of apple.

What you do about it depends on who you are,
What your word is worth and plain old honesty.
Just know that sex is NOT love.
Sex is the funky shit that you do to one another
that makes you think you’re in love.


Passionate love.
Naturally comes after sexual love.
It’s intense, expressive; you’ve given yourself away.

You’re fucked.
There is no you with out them.
You’re fucked.
Only one thing can save you…
Cause you're fittin' ta get yo ass hitched!

Committed Love.
You made it to this because you’ve gone through all else.
Hell and back.
You see each other’s faults and accept them.
In time of need YOU are there.
There is devotion. There is sacrifice.
You’ve become Bonnie and Clyde.

The kick in the motherfucking ass?
People lie.

Just how committed are you?
Really?
How committed are they?

You won’t know till it’s over.
And if you’ve made it this far it only ends three ways...
Death or deceit or split decission.

Someone’s going to pass away, someone’s going to walk away
or your both just gonna say fuck it.

So there it is.

Love

The all encompassing, rollercoaster of physical, emotional 
and mind melting uncertainty that we all must find and 
give and then take from one another.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
-Lord Alfred Tennyson

Personally, I truly believe that if you love someone,
You have to be able to let them go lovingly.
If they love you…
They will come back.


No matter who you are, someone is in love with you.
You may not notice if you stay hung up on the one you had to let go.

Good Luck.
Sincerely,
The Bad Man

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Poker Lesson- Las Vegas style.


After a few crazy weeks, one needs to relax... 


Blow off some steam...

Where on Earth does a BadMan get to do that??


Wifey gets to shop, Papi gets to gamble.



Now, I'm no professional.  Not by a long shot.
I don't think I'm that good.

Normally, I can hold my own at any table,
tonight... Not so much.


This was a night to live and learn,
for on this night,
I sat with the big dogs.





Here's the thing you have to get about playing Vegas style poker...




No matter how good you are, eventually,  it will get you... 

If you're playing to make money, find a private game somewhere.

If you're playing for fun, have a friday night game with the boys.

If you're playing to learn something and get you're ass wiped out in six hands or less, 

Go to Las Vegas!






When it comes to these tables and my skill level, I tend to play ATM style.  That means I'll take out $300 and play till it's gone.


A good glance at the table and I know it... 


The Old Dogs are gonna take my lil $300 and never even lift their heads to look at me.
I lasted one hand. 
I'm "All In".
I would go the whole story with a card-by-card and all but why?  It Was One Hand...


I had trip Queens...
He had 

The Gut Shot Straight... 
on the river. 
The "Gut Shot" straight? 
On the river? 

Feels a lot like this...


That's all we need to say about that.



Nothing to do about it.  It was like I was never even there...  (Minus the loosing the money part.)




But WAIT!  There's more!

I take out another $200.  I just chilled out and played video poker. 



It was nice, playing 25c Video Poker games... (p.s. 25¢ Games = $1.25 per hand)


The sound of slot machines ringing and chinging.  
Every noise and sound bite you could ever hope to hear. 
Crowds cheering, Music, announcers, every dialect from Russian to Mandarin Chinese, to Texan... Even the Parakeet-esque squawks of "I almost made it" girls saying, "cocktails" soon became music to my ears.


I must have played 80 hands ($1.25 each).  After that many hands and no substantial wins, you just think "WTF., it's time to switch machines.  So I do.




I moved a couple seats down and kept playing...
(cuz of course, I'm gonna win back ALL  of my money... tonight!)




Anyway..
Along comes this girl and her goofy looking guy. 
They sit down at the machine I just left.

This girl plays 2 hands.
Straight Flush.
Again.













She won $400.















Even though they were no where near, I could hear the big dogs laughing.




Bottom line time;  


My name is the BadMan.  
I am a gambler...
I gamble because it's intriguing.







I gamble because
It's sexy.


I gamble because
It keeps my mind active
and my thoughts creative...



I gamble because
I can win
and I have made money doing it.


Yet
On this night, 
This unholy night
in Sin City...
I lost.

I played like a first time tourist.
I played like I shit the bed in the middle of the night.

For that reason,
I vow not to play poker...
in the casinos....
in Vegas....
for a little while....

I've moved on...

To Roulette...
it's sexy too.





Till next we meet.
Cheers,
The BadMan



Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mommy’s New Gun

Mommy’s New Gun
Happy Birthday Baby!!  This guns for you!!

The Second Amendment

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State,
the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

In short this means,
“We The People”, have a right to keep and bear arms.””

This also means,
The next person to break into my house, in the middle of the night, has the right to get his ass shot…

In short, that means
There will be only one side of the story… Do you feel me?

PS., Anyone who wants to prevent you from your right to keep and bear arms, by definition, is an enemy of the Constitution.


Normally, I would never share this type of info.
I don’t want everyone running around getting guns.  Just me, my wife and maybe my two oldest kids.

 It is better to have it and not need it,
Than to need it and not have it.

But right now, my reasoning goes like this

If someone breaks into your house, are they coming to chat?
For a pillow fight maybe?

 
No.
These are bad people.

People who may be desperate, deranged or phycotic motherfuckers…  
These are people who have simply snapped.  
Rapist, molestors, murderers.



Or
My personal favorite;

The-stupid-fucker-who-thinks-it’s-better-to-take-yours-than-to-work-for-his-own.


Mommies, Aunties, Sisters, Daugthers and Sons…

Firearms are considered Evil.
They are not.

Firearms are dangerous.
They are fucking supposed to be.

Firearms can accidently kill the owner.
So can a lawnmower, if you don’t what the hell you’re doing.



There are Rules.

There are always rules….
Please know these are my rules… not those of your local law inforcement agency. 


Ps., Thanks LAPD for letting me know this guy will be back on the streets in six months.




Got yourself a gun:
(In your home)

Rule #1
Know your gun.
Not knowing can get you killed.  It’s not rocket science, but it does take a little bit of practice and understanding.

Rule #2  
Practice shooting at the gun range.
Become a member.
This also gives you an excuse to have a firearm in you car….



Rule #3 
Keep your gun in a locked box.

This is Bullshit.

Keep your shit loaded, partially engaged and somewhere easy to get to.
Some unpresumptuous place in plain sight that only you know about.

Rule #4  
Never talk about where the gun is
with your friends.
You’d be surprised how often someone you know is out to fuck you up.
One way or another.

Rule #5 
Never take it out,
Unless you’re gonna use it.
That means:

NEVER TAKE IT OUT UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT!


Rule #6 
If someone forcibly enters your home:
Kill them… And then say, “ Freeze.”

It’s you or them.
Your choice.

Rule #7 Make sure they are not moving.
Call 911 and wait.


Ladies, I recommend this:

GLOCK 27

Small, light, accurate and powerful: 
The GLOCK 27 is the backup weapon for all situations. Because of its comfortable dimensions 
and the known advantages of the GLOCK pistol family 
it is very popular by police on patrol duty, which is why 
many law enforcement agencies issue this subcompact pistol.  

Glock jargon aside, it’s the perfect size for your cute hands and manicured fingers…




Can we talk about “aim” for a bit?
I think is important to hit your target.  You must practice!!  Join a gun club and learn the aim!!

It’s THAT simple.


In the event you run into this guy…  Just know he more than likely can’t hit you aiming like that

The side grip is a technique for shooting a handgun in which the weapon is rotated about ninety degrees and held horizontally instead of vertically (as is normally done). Shooting a gun in this way has no practical benefit under most circumstances and makes proper aiming very difficult, but the style has become somewhat popular in rap culture and among street criminals (who do not often use the gun sight) due to its portrayal in U.S. film and television since the 1990s.




Here are some places to aim... 
 A person will die if shot in the head, heart, lungs, or intestines.

Normally, it takes:
Hours to die if shot in the intestines,
Minutes if shot in the lungs,
Seconds if shot in the heart,
Instantly, if shot in the head.

If the Man is a rapist, please shoot that fucker in the head, heart, intestines & cock.



Myth: Guns are not a good deterrent to crime



Fact: Guns prevent an estimated 2.5 million crimes a year, or 6,849 every day.65 Often the gun
is never fired and no blood (including the criminal’s) is shed.

Fact: It seems to be slowing down property crime (especially burglaries). The legal handgun
supply in America (mainly in civilian hands) to the property crime rate.

Fact: Every day, 550 rapes, 1,100 murders, and 5,200 other violent crimes are prevented just by showing a gun. In less than 0.9% of these instances is the gun ever actually fired.

Fact: 60% of convicted felons admitted that they avoided committing crimes when they knew the victim was armed. 40% of convicted felons admitted that they avoided committing crimes when they thought the victim might be armed. A survey of felons revealed the following:  74% of felons agreed that "one reason burglars avoid houses when people are at home is
that they fear being shot during the crime."


Fact: Felons report that they avoid entering houses where people are at home because they fear being shot. 57% of felons polled agreed, "criminals are more worried about meeting an armed victim 
than they are about running into the police."

Fact: Washington D.C. has essentially banned gun ownership since 1976 and has a murder rate of 56.9 per 100,000. Across the river in Arlington, Virginia, gun ownership is less restricted. There, the murder rate is just 1.6 per 100,000, less than three percent of the Washington, D.C. rate.

Fact: 26% of all retail businesses report keeping a gun on the premises for crime control.
Fact: In 1982, Kennesaw, GA passed a law requiring heads of households to keep at least one firearm in the house. The residential burglary rate dropped 89% the following year.

Myth: Private ownership of guns is not effective in preventing crime.

Fact: Every year, people in the United States use a gun to defend themselves against criminals 
an estimated 2,500,000 times – more than 6,500 people a day, or once every 13 seconds.

Of 
these instances, 15.6% of the people using a firearm defensively stated that they "almost
certainly" saved their lives by doing so. Firearms are used 60 times more often to protect lives than to take lives.

In 83.5% (2,087,500) of these successful gun defenses, the attacker either threatened or
used force first, proving that guns are very well suited for self-defense.

Of the 2,500,000 times citizens use guns to defend themselves, 92% merely brandish their
 gun or fire a warning shot to scare off their attackers.

Less than 8% of the time does a citizen wound his or her attacker, and in less than one in a
thousand instances is the attacker killed.

For every accidental death, suicide, or homicide with a firearm, 10 lives are saved through
defensive use.

When using guns in self-defense 83% of robbery victims were not injured.
 88% of assault victims were not hurt.
• 76% of all self-defense use of guns never involve firing a single shot.

After the implementation of Canada's 1977 gun controls prohibiting handgun possession
for protection, the “breaking and entering” crime rate rose 25%, surpassing the American rate.


Myth: You are more likely to be injured or killed using a gun for self-defense



You are far more likely to survive a violent assault if you defend yourself with a gun.

In episodes where a robbery victim was injured, the injury/defense rates were: 119

 Resisting with a gun 6% 
Did nothing at all 25% 
Resisted with a knife 40%
Non-violent resistance 45%

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 27 percent of American women keep a gun in the house and 37.6 million females either own or have rapid access to guns.




The world is crazy and getting crazier. Protect yourself and the ones you love.

That’s just real talk.



Good Luck,
The Bad Man