Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Bad Man 101


I live my life by a very simple set of rules.  
Yet in life, nothing is quite that simple.

I’ve stood by and watched
as other men completely wreck themselves.

I’ve let others unwisely walk themselves
out of a meaningful existence and into darkness.
Where they ended up, I don’t know. 

It wasn’t my duty to take care of them.

So what happened?
Why do I feel as if I MUST watch out for others?
How come I can’t just stand by and watch.
My three simple rules… forget about it.

What happened?

Kids.
Fucking Kids.
That’s what happened.


Although I still live by a very simple set of rules.
I’ve added an ever-expanding list of sub-rules.

I still watch as they wreck themselves, some say that’s mean,
I say never pick someone up before they fall.
After all, isn’t that how we learn? 
Don’t we have to fall down sometimes?

Today and for the rest of my time on this rock we call earth,
it is my duty to take care of them.

That being the case here are more rules and thoughts to help guide you,
You who I love so dearly… My fucking kids. 

Welcome to Bad Man 101.

You already know rules 1,2 & 3.  But because you’re kids, I’ll reiterate.
One.
Do your dirt by your lonely.
Two.
Keep your mouth shut.
Three.
Always look good leaving.
Those rules were covered in the introductory class: Ask the Bad Man

Here are some other rules, add them where you want, just understand these are very important and must be adhered to if you want to get ahead in this life.

Rule - Never reveal 100% of anything, to anyone… Ever.
It’s good for people to know that you’re a mover and a shaker.
But it’s none of their goddamn business what you’re moving
… or why you’re shaking.
Learn to speak between the lines.

Rule - Your word is your bond… Always.
If you say you’re going to do something, then you best fucking do it.
Otherwise you are as cheap as your talk.

Rule – A wrong decision is better than no decision.
Simply put.  Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

Rule – Work harder than everyone else.
Not just for the money, but to get the experience faster than the next guy.
One day, you’ll be the leader.
It would be nice of you to know what the hell you’re doing.

Rule – You are worth as much as you can ask for with a straight face.
Try it a mirror.  Ask for a million dollars.
Practice until you can ask without laughing at yourself.
When the time comes, you’ll be able to ask a price for your services
… and you’ll get it.

Rule - Never forgive betrayal. 
Never.

Rule – It is OK to knowingly lie, 
to preserve the innocents of a child.
Yes, Santa is real.
Yes, The Tooth Fairy put that there…
No. I’ve never been to jail.


Learn these rules well; one day there will be a test… And won’t be from me.


Good Luck Kids,
Sincerely,
The Bad Man


2 comments:

  1. You are a wise wise man oh Mr. The Bad Man.
    Rules to live by, I love how you think.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have been schooled Mr. Badman. Never reveal 100% of anything to anyone...priceless.

    ReplyDelete