Having "The Talk" with my son....

So we're all clear on this one thing...

I DID NOT want to go there.

I didn't even see it coming... 

(Now that I think about it.)

"The Talk"

The conversation started on the subject of his hair.

I said,

"Hair's getting kinda big, should we get a cut?"

He said,

"What?! My hair looks good... Chicks dig it."

 THIS LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER SAID, 

"CHICKS DIG IT!!!"

(My 13yo son hitting it hard and  going deep.)

I thought back to and article I had read moths ago, about what girls like in boys. 

(here's what I read)

Q: What do girls like in boys?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

"I like guys either skinny, average, or with lean muscle. I'm not too picky because nobody is perfect. I just don't like super overweight guys because it really shows that they don't care about themselves and that's important to me.
I like shy mysterious guys, as well as talkative, funny, popular guys. As long as the guy is charming, sweet, and respectful it doesn't really matter how social he is(within reason.) Cocky guys are a total turn off for me, however, I would take a cocky guy over a guy with no confidence. Confidence and being assertive are vital to me. Call me old fashioned but I like a guy who knows how to take control. If a guy is weak minded and allows me to take control then I'm going to-- but there will be no passion there. Believe it or not girls don't like it when you tend to their every whim. Being overly emotional, always in her shadow,  constantly getting jealous over every little thing(though a little jealousy is flattering) and always being too available are big no nos!
As far as features I like guys with paler skin and dark hair(not in an emo looking way more like... Ian Somerhalder) and light eyes.. that's ideal. Though I do love dark, almost black eyes on guys. There's always exceptions though. Hot is hot, there's no real defining it. I like medium hair mostly, but it really depends on the shape of the guys face. Oh-- and no hard crunch hair or greasy hair either.. I like it when I can run my fingers through a guys hair!
As far as clothes, I like a guy that looks good-- but I'm not into guys that look like they spend more time in front of a mirror than me. I'll like any guys style from a more hollister preppy boy, to a punker-- as long as it suits him and looks genuine(not a poser.) I DO prefer casual clothing though as opposed to more rocker styles. Unless the guy is in a band or something(hot) then it just looks like he's still stuck in high school (I'm almost 20 so that's not a good thing!)"


 - Alycia

The Fucking Bi-Centennial

Fourth of July Exploded

...in my head!

Every scenario of my son with his first girl... 

Losing his virginity started to race though my head.

Looking at him for a long while, seeing the apple

And knowing that I am the tree...

Knowing it's now or never...

Knowing, he may not be virgin next week...

It was time for the "The Talk"

Kids are already going through changes at this point.

Not to mention, puberty, mental, physical and emotional shit that they are trying to hide because they don't themselves understand it.  So before you have this talk, you've got to that bringing it up the wrong way can cause a future communication problem.  This is a very sensitive and personal issue with kids.  I suggest being honest and sharing your own stories as well.

Helpful hint: Make it funny. 

I said, "Son, let me tell you about Pussy."

He lost himself in laughter... but I knew I had his attention.

I told him about my first time...

Yes, I still remember her name.

How extremely bad that day was... 

And how I had no fucking clue what I was doing.

(No fucking pun intended.)

It was straight up... 

EMBARRASSING.

I was 13, like him. 

The girl was my mom's bosses daughter... 

AKA, The Captain's Lil' Girl.  (Military Family)

We "did it" in a field... 

Unknowingly on top of ant hill.... 

And then it rained.

 Naked, cold, muddy, ant covered ass.... NOT COOL.

Because of the extremely personal nature of most of the stories, 

I won't repeat them. I will, however, say they are fucking hilarious!

But enough about me.

Here's what you need to cover when you have the talk.

Essentials of "The Talk.."

Anatomy and reproduction in Human Beings

Sexual shit like making out, oral sex, rubbing one out... etc.,

Sexuality: 

 People Are and Can Turn: 

Straight

Gay

and Bi

... that's life.

Self-image and Peer Pressure. 

Be yourself.

- How you present yourself

Sends messages to others about your interest in sexual behavior.

Yes, you can and will get laid just because you look good.

The B.B.C.

Babies / Birth control / Condoms

  
And of course...


Sexually Transmitted Diseases

What's the matter? 
Ya burnin'?

"The Talk"

Do it your way.

Share your stories,  Adventures, Disasters, details...

Whatever you do, tell the truth...

It will be weird at first

But do it.

Men > Boys
Each One > Teach One

Good luck,

The Bad Man